Someone told me today (or yesterday) during prom: guess this is the last time we're gonna be hearing you sing. And right there and then, though it didn't last long, I realised it was gonna be the last time for a lot of things. The last time I went for a flag raising, or woke up at 6 in the morning to go to school, going to the school library, wear school uniforms...
the last time I'm gonna be seeing a lot of friends.
Someone else asked me a few days ago, why bother getting back in touch when we're not gonna have anything to do with each other anymore? I mean, it's terrible to have to just let everything go like this just because we're going out of school. Life is full of choices, and I suppose choosing what to let go of is one of those tough ones we'll have to end up making, since we can't possibly be carrying along all our memories through our lives. There'd just be too much to remember, too much to be thankful for or appreciate.
So it's time to make the tough decisions again. Most of us were spared that decision when we went straight from RI to RI(JC), but there's no two ways about it this time. A lot of us will be going our separate ways, and we'd probably struggle to find anything in common in a few years, maybe even a few months. Even harder would be finding a reason to get together again, other than for the sake of remembrances. Given the nature of our Singaporean lifestyles, that just doesn't cut it anymore these days, even when people are so willing to give up what they've gained during their two years of education in JC.
I've made many a good friends, and lost many a good ones too. It took me awhile to find the people I could trust, and even longer to get them to trust me.
And then what? Well, some of it ended pretty well, or is still going on. Some worked out, for awhile, before it all turned sour for one reason or another, most of the time because I made the wrong damn choices.
Sigh. I guess writing this was really some sort of a mistake. To whoever this is addressed to you probably know what I'm talking about. I'm not sure if what happened during prom was a one-off, and I'm just so confused right now. I'd much rather it end definitely, rather than being kept in the dark.
slau | 12:46 AM
